Emergency fund, passive income, active income, side hustle, stocks, dividends……these were financial terms that I didn’t become acquainted with until I was over 40. That age is significant because you see, my money habits were shaped by what I thought would have been happening around that age.

Let’s go back to when I was around 17 years old. I was speaking with a male friend (not a boyfriend) who was about 22 years old at the time. I can’t recall what we were talking about, but it eventually led to me ask him if he was getting married. His response stuck with me. He said he was not planning to get married because he didn’t think he would live past 40. And so I said to myself, ok, perhaps I won’t live past 40 either. I know. It’s weird, but that thought followed me around for the next 23 years. Every pain, in my mind, was a terminal illness. Imagine my “disappointment” when the test results always came back negative. I know. I know. It’s weird.

Fast forward to my 40th birthday and I started to plan a big fete to celebrate, half thinking “will I be around for it?” In the week leading up to the fete, a friend of mine who had been invited to the fete, passed away. She was younger than me. When the year ended, I thought to myself “maybe it [death] will come a year later.” Writing this now, I am thinking how silly that thought pattern was. But it was my truth, at the time.