The Middle Passenger

My seat choice is always the same. Aisle seat near the front of the plane. That allows me to stretch out my legs, [albeit in the aisle and risk it being tripped over] and also to get to the loo without inconveniencing others. But I waited too late to check in online and the only aisle seats were way in the back of the plane. That wouldn’t do. So I took a chance on a middle seat in my usual location. What would my neighbours be like, I wondered.

I flashbacked to a few months ago when I got the aisle seat, but the middle passenger was about three times my size. Now, me being a big person and all, I have nothing against les largesses. But when she fell asleep and leaned over on me, snoring, THAT was a problem. Would I have size issues on this flight?

I wended my way through First Class and spotted my row mates. Sigh of relief. An average sized gentleman had the aisle and a mature lady got the seat with a view. I settled in and realized that my flight behaviour would have to change. In an aisle [or window] seat, you only have one person beside you. I like to chill out and wander around in my thoughts during a flight, so if I am fortunate, the middle passenger normally ends up talking to the window person and I am left to listen to Bruno Mars in peace. [Look, it’s not that I’m unfriendly….but when your job for over 20 years required you to talk to strangers, you need a break].

From the left and from the right, I got conversation coming at me ever so often. I didn’t mind, especially from the window lady. Very early on, I had spotted a little New Testament bible in her hand. “Oh, goody, so you’re going to pray for us all then”. She nodded and smiled.

Now the aisle man didn’t have aisle behaviour. He talked across me to the window lady, instead of only to me. He also looked over at what I was reading and commented on it. But it wasn’t excessive, so I wasn’t annoyed at all.

When we got to the first touchdown, the window lady got off. I was hoping that with an un-fully-filled flight, the powers that be would have not put anyone there for the next sector. Wrong. Enters a little giggly girl. She quickly got into her seat, took out her phone and ear phones and proceeded not to talk to a soul. Good girl.

So it was an interesting new perspective for me. Couldn’t tell the last time I flew in the middle. One thing I’m still wondering though is who had flatulence on the second sector! No…….. IT WASN”T ME! That’s probably one of the advantages of being The Middle Passenger. There are more scapegoats to pass the fart-blame on to. I wonder if Giggly Girl, because she was silent, did the deadly one?