The next decade....what's in store?

Alone with myself, I feel scared

I like living alone, there is no question about it. But one of the downsides is that when you don't feel quite right, there is noone to turn to. No Mummy to call so I can feel safe and secure. No nephew to tell how I am feeling.

These past couple of days, my heart has felt funny, or maybe it's just the muscles around my heart. I have always had missed beats and you might have read on here about me doing ECG's or going to the Heart Institute of the Caribbean. As always, nothing is wrong. Well HIC Dr Edwards said the next step would be to do a holtmeter or something like that where they read your heart for 24 hours during which time you cannot bathe. Hmmmm.

So going to sleep is no fun I tell you, because I am lying there thinking always "is this my last night?", "Is this cause for alarm?" I know when I do certain exercises, my spine goes out of whack. I had a mishap in 2001 which causes this to happen. When my spine goes out of whack, my head also goes out of whack. I guess the misalignment causes the blood flow to the brain to go out of whack too.

So essentially I am out of whack I get. Plus each morning I wake up, I don't feel rested and then I feel tired througout the day. I don't normally drink coffee, but I find myself reaching for a cup everymorning, or at about 4 in the afternoon. Never more than one cup per day though. Of course, coffee and a funny heart beat don't really go together init!

Each time I feel out of whack, I wonder if my thinking for many years that I wouldn't live to see 40 will be a self fulfilling prophesy. I hope not! I continue to exercise in my countdown to 40.