May 13, 2004

The Bridges of Madison County

The family went to see that movie when it came to Jamaica years ago. (I remember my father saying "damn foolishness". at the end of it) Earlier today, while at home, I watched part of it on cable again.

The reaction was the same now as it was then. Choke, choke, swallow swallow, lump in throat and a few tears.

In case you didn't see it, here's a brief recap.

Francesca is an Italian married to an American living on a farm in some back of woods place in the States. They have two kids - a boy and a girl. Hubby and kids go off to show their pig in, well, a show. They are away for 4 days. Francesca is left alone and on the first day day, Robert Kincaid (hmmm, any relation to Jamaica Kincaid?), a National Geographic photographer is lost and stops by her house for directions. One thing leads to another, she invites him to supper and they fall in love. Yes, they 'dweet'. He asks her to come away with him, and she is torn between his request and leaving her family. She bawls uncontrollably, sometimes regrets the decision it seems, but in the end, found peace with what she decided.

The story is told through her two kids who are now grown, who are going through her things after her death. Francesca wrote about the Robert experience and locked the journal away. The key was presented after she died. In the trunk, along with the journal, was the dress she rushed into town to buy the first night they had dinner.

OK, you can go look up the rest.

But the point about this blog, is that when I saw the movie first, it further affirmed that I will not, I repeat, I WILL NOT get myself in a situation with a man, or any other type of situation where I am not happy, and where I feel flat and dead. I am unable to understand people who stay in a marriage even though it's not providing much joy.

Don't get me wrong....Francesca's husband treated her fine and that was one of the reasons she stayed because she said he didn't do anything wrong. But it was the same monotonous boring routine each day. In the end, she felt duty bound because of the kids as well. Maybe they didn't notice she was unhappy, or rather not feeling truly alive.

She wrote this to her kids in the journal...

DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO TO BE HAPPY IN THIS LIFE. THERE IS SO MUCH BEAUTY OUT THERE.

It's as if she spoke to me many years ago, when I took this approach to how I live my life each and every day. Remember this post? Read it again

No one will make me change that way of thinking. No one.

Posted by yamfoot at May 13, 2004 05:24 PM
Comments

Havent seen that movie yet but I remember years ago this girl I knew wanted me to see it. Maybe she was trying to tell me something :-)

Posted by: J Did at May 14, 2004 06:52 AM

go see it. It's worth it. The two characters mentioned are played by Meryl Streep and Cllint Eastwood, so you know it gotta be good.

Posted by: Michelle at May 14, 2004 10:06 AM

Lots of stuff to consider here: Did the wife not know what she was going into when she took up with the farmer?
Did she have a goal/vocation in life which she dumped when she got married?
Did she expect the husband to provide her exciting life...
Is it better for the children at what ever age/stage for them to have both parents although one may not be so happy? Blah, Blah, blah, blah.
Maybe with whatever 'man' she is with she may always be unhappy if she is looking for someone to make her happy.
blah, blah, blah
I will stop now.

Posted by: gesmith at May 14, 2004 02:31 PM

I saw that movie a while back. She fell in love...when that happens many people can lose 'control' and do things that they probably would not have if they weren't vulnerable on acoount of emotion. There is nothing 'foolish' about the show as your Dad suggested. It is just life my dear.

Yammie, you keep saying things 'bout long term relationships and marriage in particular, that you won't get married. Why? Sure, not all work out, but, many do as well. I'm sure if a good guy that you fall for comes along, it could work couldn't it?

I'm not married myself, and I have seen lots of marriages that haven't worked around me, but I'm not going to let that poison me against a possibly good thing.

I do agree with you though, that you should be happy. I know that the issue of children complicates matters and some may stick out an unhappy marriage 'for the children's sake', but said kids may turn around and tell you later that you should have got out of it.

Anyway, I have tried to be careful in what I have said here, I don't wish to step on any of those toes with the sexy reddish cutex. :-)) The issue of human relationships is a very complex matter, much too much for me to analyse (and I'm no Psychologist) in this comment which is becoming a bit too lengthy. To end, the movie was good, might not be your typical 'guy' show, but who says we don't have emotions as well?

Posted by: Dr. D. at May 14, 2004 07:54 PM

dr d, the big question is....

did you cry???????

the marriage thing is a long story, but having said that, that is one area that I might just be spontaneous in. If the right guy came along in say 2 years time, I'd probably "get hitched".

I would be older then, and had a good fill of my nomadic tendencies, so settling down wouldnt be so much of a problem.


ok, i'll stop there.

Posted by: Michelle at May 14, 2004 11:44 PM

ok yammie I will try an go and rent this movie and watch at some point in time.

Posted by: J Did at May 15, 2004 08:50 AM

I don't remember if I cried Yamfoot....it was a long time ago I saw it.

The most recent movie that I saw resulting in some tears rolling down my cheeks was the Passion of the Christ.

Posted by: Dr. D. at May 15, 2004 10:43 AM